Evil Mean Dishwasher

It began about a year ago when the notion that my dishwasher hated me crept into my mind. It all started with a seemingly innocent broken soap dispenser latch. I would pour the liquid soap in, close the lid and "POP" the lid would spring back open. Mr. Yesteryear Acres would use just one finger, press just so, and voila! The lid stayed closed. Every day was the same. Soap in, lid closed...."POP"!!!! Lid OPEN. Mr. Yesteryear Acres - one finger - ah voila, Lid Closed.  The dishwasher of course remained. Okay. I didn't take it personally.  Then the cutlery basket corroded and all my knives would fall straight through.  Mr. Yesteryear Acres assured me it was my loading technique but that simply wasn't true. There were HOLES in the bottom of the basket.  It took a while but Mr. Yesteryear Acres finally agreed that the cutlery basket was unusable and yes,he still had to come into the house to close the soap lid. This went on for months. And still the dishwasher remained. We looked into replacing the dishwasher dispenser - and the only way to replace it was....to order an entire new door! The door cost almost as much as the dishwasher. ARGH! I hated the dishwasher soap dispenser. Each day the dishes looked less and less clean.  What once were beautiful sparkly glasses were now white and opaque looking.  Half the dishes were clean enough to place into the cabinet, half needed rewashed and yet ---- the dishwasher remained. It got to the point that every single mug, glass, bowl, fork, knife, spoon had to be closely inspected to see if they had in fact been cleaned. For some reason, the same amount of peanut butter that was on the knife going into the wash cycle, remained after it was supposedly "clean".  Then about two months ago, I went to open the dishwasher door when "BAM" the entire spring/rope system that held the door gave way and the entire dishwasher door came crashing to the floor. It almost broke my wrist. The door is seriously heavy.  We put DANGER! WARNING! ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK! signs all over the dishwasher.And yes....the dishwasher remained. In order to open the door to the dishwasher, you now needed both hands, a back brace, and a fork lift. Same thing to close it. Major biceps needed.  Then two weeks ago I was sitting on the floor sorting through some bills. (The doggies like it when I am hanging around with them on the floor so I sit there instead of at the table.)  So anyway, I am sitting sorting through paperwork when "CRASH" the door OPENS UP in the middle of the wash cycle and hits me in the leg! It is at this point, I know the dishwasher is evil. It hates me.  It is out to get me. I bet right now you are thinking - wow - I bet THAT was enough to get a new dishwasher. ummmm NOPE!  This only prompted Mr. Yesteryear Acres to prop up a stool against the dishwasher door, with a dishtowel on the stool, and a cutting block on the dishtowel all wedged under the dishwasher handle in order to keep the door closed. *sigh* Still the dishwasher remained. Day after day of door wedging, fork lifting, back breaking, non cleaning dishwasher. Today - the swan song. The door opened on Mr. Yesteryear Acres. During the wash cycle. And FLOODED the kitchen. Oh...the dishwasher isn't so nice now IS IT???? And still the dishwasher remains.....in the yard....upside down.....ready for the junk yard trip tomorrow!!!!! GOOD RIDDENS!!!!!!
(Stay tuned tomorrow for Part 2....."Just how long does it take Mr. Perfect, aka Mr. Yesteryear Acres, to install a new dishwasher?" You won't want to miss it!