Tails and Nails

So what fun filled adventure awaited me this morning? Was it A)... A fabulous shopping trip? B).... A day off with movie watching and popcorn? OR C).....A fun filled day of trimming puppy nails and puppy under tails? I know, I know, it is a really tough one to guess but go ahead and take your best shot. YES! You are correct! The answer is C! I believe the puppies got word of the festivities planned for today because at 6:30am sharp they all started singing Good Morning to me.  I am sure it was due to the eager anticipation of the day's events. After everyone had a nice big breakfast of pumpkin parfait (aren't I really good at making canned pumpkin and puppy food mixed together sound really scrumptious?) it was time for the beauty treatment.  Puppy nails are actually really easy to trim.  I do it every week so the puppies are used to having their nails trimmed and are really good about it.  The only hard part is when they want to lick the puppy nail trimmers while I am trimming.  They like to kiss my hand and kiss my arm and OH YES kiss the puppy trimmers too.  So you kind of have to hold the head back, hold the foot out, pet the puppy, trim the claw and move quickly onto the next one before the next kiss occurs.  It is all in the timing.  After all these years, I am a professional. I am faster than everyone in the house including Mr. Yesteryear Acres.  I can do 2 paws to his one paw every time. Today I had the job all to myself so there was no contest. I like it better when I have some competition. It makes the time go a little more quickly and it is fun to have company. After all the nails were trimmed it was onto the ummmm let's say Private Area.  Now I can make this sound all lovely like a trip to the beauty shop or I can be brutally honest and give you the straight scoop.  I am going to go with brutal honesty.  Way back in the day when we raised Labrador Retrievers, there were no butts to trim.  Nails, nails, nails and then done. Not with the doodles. Especially not with the goldendoodles and double doodles.  They have hair on top of hair and some of them are little mops walking around.  Well guess where the hair grows the longest? YES, you guessed it - right under the tail.  And guess what LOVES to get tangled up in that under the tail hair????? YES, you guessed it and yes that is gross. Especially when the puppy is being so good and goes potty outside and then the outside "potty" gets caught in the hair and the little puppy runs to you and jumps in your lap to say "I am such a good puppy for going outside" and then you look down into your lap and your jeans don't quite look as good as they did 2 minutes ago.  They don't smell very good either.  So, yes weekly under the tail trimming is a must. It is a stinky job but someone has to do it and that someone is me.  Mr. Yesteryear Acres has this whole song and dance about how I do SUCH a better job than he does and I am SO good at it and the puppies are SO much better for me when I trim their butt hair than when he does it. Really? Do you think I buy that for one minute? How about No.  Nice try Mr. Yesteryear Acres. I am pretty darn sure that anyone can trim puppy butt hair but thanks for the compliment. Today I got LOADS of compliments from Mr. Yesteryear Acres as he quickly walked out the door which just left me, my comb and my scissors and furry fuzzy fluffy puppies all waiting for their beauty treatment. One by one they all were transformed into visions of loveliness.  And yes, I did do an awesome job...but Mr. Yesteryear Acres - next week I think I shall shower you with the compliments as I hand you the scissors.  I mean really - no one can handle scissors with such skill and ease. The way you wield a pair of scissors is astonishing. The puppies told me they are really looking forward to your grooming expertise. They cannot wait to compliment you.  Either can I.