Left, Right, 1, 2, 3

When I say that I do not know my left from my right, it isn't an occasional mishap I am talking about.  It is a mistake that happens every single day. For whatever reason, there is a blip in my cognitive abilities that prevents me from correctly identifying left from right.  I can navigate a map.  I can follow directions.  I can readily identify east from west.  I can point in the correct direction I need to travel even if the words that are coming out of my mouth indicate otherwise.  It may be that I can not distinguish my left and right because I was born left-handed and then was forced to become right handed in grade school.  I am not sure the exact reason, but no matter what tricks I have been taught to help me remember my left from my right, I still get it wrong.  Now this might not seem like a huge deal except for the fact that not only is it impossible for me to figure out my own left and right - I also cannot tell which knob on the stovetop operates which burner. I have used the same exact stovetop every single day for over a decade and at least twice a week, I have the wrong burner on and barely escape burning down the kitchen. Last night I heard my daughter yelling from the kitchen, "MOM!"  I knew that tone all too well.  Another near mishap.

Here is what is left of the plastic container I placed on the "turned off" burner while I was heating up soup on the other burner. End result.  One cold pot of soup.  One melted plastic covered burner. Looks like I did it again. It was at this moment, after 32 years of marriage, and countless near misses, Mr. Yesteryear Acres marched right down to the basement, opened his tool box and brought up a metal engraver and started etching numbers into our stovetop.

The #4 knob operates the #4 burner. AHA!  Eureka! FINALLY!  I will not inadvertently set our kitchen on fire!!!!!  

I am looking forward to making dinner tonight.

Especially since I didn't know the #3 knob was for THAT burner!