Monday, September 20, 2010

Blah and Blue

Today was actually kind of a blah day.  We woke up with puffy eyes from all the crying we did the night before. We all looked pretty horrible. The very first thought I had when I woke up this morning, was that Paul was gone. I think just about every minute of the whole day that thought never left my mind.  My kids are just devastated. This is the first true loss they have ever known. They are having a hard time saying good-bye to their adopted grandpa. It has been a long emotionally sad day for all of us. I have a list of "must do" things a mile long and after today, I have a list of "must do" things a mile long.  Not much got accomplished today.  Today was a day spent in mourning. I imagine the whole week will be very tough.  My older daughter is trying to get an emergency leave granted so that she can come home this weekend to pay her respects. I hope that she can come home.  I think it will help with the healing process. Despite the shadow of sadness hanging over us today, some good things did happen.  My younger daughter actually ate her very first meal since getting so sick last Monday.  For her dinner, I made a 2 egg omelet with just a little bit of diced fresh yellow tomato and she ate the entire thing.  I know her body is desperately needing nourishment and I was SO happy to see her plate empty! I think this will really help her feel better.  Mr. Yesteryear Acres and I also got our beets cooked, peeled, sliced and put away for the winter. Just slicing the beets and getting that done actually felt really good.  Beets were Paul's absolute favorite vegetable and it felt fitting to get our beets done today.  I could feel Paul smiling down on me as I peeled each beet.  I also spent a little time today playing outside with the puppies.  I can tell you that there is no greater comfort that a lap full of happy, kissing, tail-wagging, little puppies to make you feel better. They seem to intuitively know when you need an extra hug.  Mr. Yesteryear Acres spent the entire day caring for our doggies. I think he needed some extra doggie hugs and our dogs were only too obliging to deliver all the extra TLC he needed.  I caught him a couple of times just sitting down on the ground surrounded with love by his doggies. They say time heals all wounds, and I suppose that is true, but I am quite certain that unconditional puppy and doggie love coupled with the deep devotion and support of a loving family help the most. We are lucky to have each other and lots of furry bundles of love to help heal ours.

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