Thursday, September 1, 2011

Coffee Phone

My laptop gets incredibly hot.  I am fairly certain that if you were to put food items under it - they would cook thoroughly in minutes. For a period of time last year, I had a very weird lattice type rash on my thighs. I later learned that I had burned all the layers of skin way down deep from excessive use of my laptop. I think it is called toasted leg syndrome. Since then I use a cooling pad whenever I have my laptop on my lap and I also put my laptop on a large cooling rack when I am not using it. That way the air can circulate around the entire laptop and try to keep it relatively cool. So now you have the set up.  Me, my chair, my laptop, my cooling pad and the cooling rack on the desk.  Every morning I sit in my comfy chair, put the cooling pad on my lap and put my laptop on my lap. Perfect.  All I need now is coffee.  I have just the spot to put my cup. It is nice and flat and actually has a very nice coaster right there.  Do I use that spot? Of course not.  Do I use the coaster? Of course not. Do I instead, precariously balance my coffee cup on the cooling rack because it is a good 18 inches closer to me than the coaster. Yep.  Does Mr. Yesteryear Acres say every single morning, "You know you are going to SPILL your coffee doing that". Of course he does.  Is Mr. Yesteryear Acres ever wrong? Is anyone getting a premonition of what is going to happen next? OH yes.  Coffee EVERYWHERE!  A brand new hot steaming perfectly brewed cup!  All over the desk.  All over the floor. All over the papers and pens and box of tissues and..... MY CELL PHONE!  Noooooooooooo!  It is too late.  The damage is done. I immediately yank out the battery to my cell phone and tenderly clean and dry it.  I then place it in front of a fan all the while apologizing to it for being so careless.  I go about cleaning up all the coffee, with cream, and sugar that is in every nook and cranny and once it is all bright and shiny and clean, I begrudgingly walk up the stairs to tell Mr. Yesteryear Acres that yes, I spilled the coffee. Of course he just laughed and laughed. "I told you so!" Yes, Mr. Yesteryear Acres, yes, you were right.  I will hereby use my coaster and put my coffee in the appropriate coffee location. Evidently cooling racks are not the best spot for coffee cups. Especially very large cooling racks with giant spaces between the tines. Now I know you are thinking about my poor phone and what is surely its demise........well I put it all back together about 5 hours later and VOILA!  It is OKAY!!!!!!  I guess even my cell phone loves a good cup of coffee!!!!! It really is good to the last drop!!!!

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