Wednesday, September 28, 2011

You Wouldn't Want to BEE me!

So here's the thing. This story does NOT have a happy ending.  This story does not end with...."and then Nutmeg was there all along!" This story involves sleepless nights, mutant yellow jackets and a real life horror story. It all started last night when Mr. Yesteryear Acres and I crawled into bed around 12:30am.  Within 5 minutes of closing our eyes, Mr. Yesteryear Acres yells, "TURN ON THE LIGHT! TURN ON THE LIGHT" I leap out of bed and turn on the lights and there on Mr. Yesteryear Acres' face was a yellow jacket.  We got it off without it stinging him and then proceeded to kill 4 more yellow jackets that were in the room.  We quadruple checked that the coast was clear and then gingerly crawled into bed. At 3:33am I wake up yelling I have been STUNG! Yes. In my sleep.  When I was doing nothing threatening except dreaming of a peaceful night's rest I GOT STUNG.  And evidently it was some massive mutant yellow jacket because my arm is HUGE.  It is all hot and swollen and gigantic.  It keeps getting more red and more swollen.  This morning it looked like this:
Which may not look that impressive but if you look carefully you can see it almost reaches my wrist and up to my elbow.  Well now it is past my elbow and beet red.  I have used ice and advil and benadryl - all to no avail.  So back to last night - the second I yell, "I have been STUNG" - I immediately grab my pillow and run downstairs because there is NO way I am sleeping up there.  Mr. Yesteryear Acres follows right behind to "keep me company" but we all know he doesn't want to suffer the same fate!  We set our alarm clocks for 6:30am so we can go outside and put expandable foam in the missing mortar in our bricks because that is where all the bees are congregating.  So at 6:30am sharp armed with a ladder, gloves, spotlight, and a can of foam we head out.  The bees are already swarming so Mr. Yesteryear Acres sprays the foam into the 2 holes as fast as he can and runs down the ladder.  Well now the bees are M A D!  They start coming in the air conditioning slats and the tiniest little holes in the window rope levers.  We start spraying and removing the air conditioner as fast as we can. I am armed with a fly swatter trying to keep the bees out while Mr. Yesteryear Acres is removing the window air conditioning unit. It is all very terrifying to me. I feel as though I am in a horror movie. So now we think we are through the worst of it.  I decide we should go take a walk and look at the sunrise and watch the beautiful colors light up the morning sky.  Well when I say that was the only moment of peace we had all day - that is an understatement.  The REST of the ENTIRE day has been spent with me holding TWO flyswatters and killing bees as they slowly find their way into our house one by one.  Mr. Yesteryear Acres has killed hundreds upstairs and I have killed dozens and dozens downstairs.  It is AWFUL.  Every time I take a step, I look for bees.  If I sit down, I have to look if a bee is there.  I can't drink my coffee without worrying about a bee on my cup. I can't put my hand on my computer mouse without looking for a bee. I literally have been getting up and killing a bee every 5-10 minutes ALL DAY LONG. As I sit hear and type my blog, I can hear a new bee. It is somewhere in this room.  I have to go and stop writing and get up to go find out where it is so I can kill it before it stings me. This is miserable.  I have to admit - when I went out the door this afternoon to take my son to cross country practice and a bee was in my HAIR and then one crawled up my son's leg and stung him - I cried a little bit.  I am not one for a pity party but honestly. I do not like bees.  I do not like being stung by bees. I do not like the agonizing pain in my arm from being stung.  We have a plan for tomorrow morning's early dawn assault.  I went shopping and have an arsenal of bee killing sprays. My favorite one has to be the one called "SUDDEN DEATH".  I bought 8 cans. I am going to sit with a can of Sudden Death in my lap all night long. There will be no sleep at Yesteryear Acres tonight.  It is war!

1 comment:

  1. I think you should go to the doctor and have your arm looked at! That just doesn't look good. Take care of yourself!


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