Saturday, September 24, 2011

Dance? Yea Right

For anyone over the age of let's say 30 or so - I bet you are keenly aware of the effects of the earth's gravitational pull. I bet you are keenly aware of the effects of a sluggish metabolism. I bet you are also keenly aware that if you eat an entire pint of ice will never leave your side(s). I am forced to combat all of this by sticking to an exercise routine. I try to walk every day when my son has cross country practice but last week was so busy I only walked once which is clearly not enough to ward off evil gravity effects. In preparation for the upcoming winter months, I purchased a "game" so I could dance away that darn sluggish metabolism. I found what appeared to be a good one in the "GAME" section. As in... Game: an activity engaged in for diversion or AMUSEMENT. This "game" is called Gold's Gym DANCE workout. Do you see how the word DANCE is in big letter? In reality this particular "game" is written like this:
Gold's Gym
So you see when I went to get this as a birthday present to myself, my thought process was something like this....OH DANCING!  I LOVE dancing.  I could dance all night. I could close down the disco.  Bachata, Salsa, Cha Cha, Meringue...Dance dance dance.  This is going to be great.  I am going to exercise and not even KNOW I am exercising.  I probably will be 2 sizes smaller when I am done with this.  I love dancing. I love games! I can't wait.
So today in an attempt to make amends for my missed days of walking - I tried out my new game.  Evidently the words, "Gold's GYM" are there for a reason.  Evidently the word, "WORKOUT" is also there for a reason. The reason being ....plain torture.  Since when does "dancing" include the words, "Engage your Core, Work your gluts, Tighten those abdominal muscles and other bad words like Squat, knee lift, lunge and stretching. The music was soooo soft in the background it was clear I wasn't at the disco. There were no disco lights.  There was no disco vibe.  12 more squats to go is NOT a disco feeling. I did end up finding some intermediate and advanced latin "dance" routines I liked.  I guess I will just block out all the bad words and see if I can make this work.  I will pretend it is all about the salsa. I will strain my ears to listen to the latin music in the background. Most importantly...I will have a GIGANTIC glass of water right next to me. I will need some reinforcement next time when I have all that FUN doing my "DANCE" workout !!!!

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