Thursday, June 10, 2010

Rejuvenating Youthful Walk

This morning as the sun was shining brightly I decided to get my exercise in before the day got too busy. I could hear the Arboretum calling me and I was ready for an awesome workout. Mr. Yesteryear Acres had already hooked the trailer up to the SUV and let me know that he needed it for at least another hour or so. Refusing to let that minor setback stop me, I decided to take his car. The car with the manual clutch. The car that I haven't driven for years. But the determination to exercise knows no boundaries and the glorious day awaits!! I quickly put on my authentic workout gear, complete with hip pack/insulated water bottle carrier, iShuffle and my favorite walking shoes. I decided to leave my hat behind as a little Vitamin D is good for the soul. Off I went! Okay....slight pause as I set off the alarm to my husband's car and couldn't shut it off. Take 2 - Off I went! Why is his car so slow? Why is Mr. Yesteryear Acres running behind me yelling? Emergency Brake? What do you mean by Emergency Brake? OH TAKE OFF the Emergency Brake! Take 3 - Off I went!!!! Ahhhh the sweet warm sunshine. The birds singing. The beautiful blue sky. The day couldn't be better. I think I will take the very long trail and follow the autoroad! I set off at a wonderful pace. With each step I could actually feel myself getting younger. I am amazing! I think my butt must be 2 sizes smaller already!!! Just look at my legs. They are looking great! WOW! I feel like I am 20! I throw my head back to gaze at the beautiful pattern the deep green tree canopy makes against the brilliant blue sky. It is breathtaking. I smile at the butterflies. I take big deep breaths in and fill my senses with the smells of flowers, trees and summertime. What a beautiful day! I quietly sing along to all the great music and happily keep walking. Several arboretum workers drive by in their golf carts and I think how sad that they have to drive when they could be walking. They are missing all the beauty! Even though I clearly don't need anything to drink as I am in such awesome shape, I will take just a little sip of water. I am not even sure why I bothered to bring the water bottle. The day couldn't be nicer. Oh my.....where did these hills come from? No worries - I keep walking and walking although my pace is slightly slower then when I started. Good GRAVY! WHEN WILL THIS HILL END??? No wait a minute - WHEN did they put MOUNTAINS IN OHIO?????? Oh my gosh. When will I get to the top??? Gasp. Gasp. I check my pedometer. ACK! I am barely at the halfway mark! I can feel my face getting redder and redder with each step. I am fairly certain that if you were to crack an egg on my forehead it would immediately turn into an omelet. More water. I need more water. I desperately want to pour the cold water on my face but I know without a doubt it will immediately turn to steam. I keep walking and walking. A song comes on that has something like you must feel like you are dying and I can barely whip up enough energy to nod YES YES YES I AM! Where are the golf carts???? Why won't someone stop and give me a ride back??? Oh my gosh. I feel that I am contributing to global warming by the sheer heat intensity from my face. WHERE IS MY CAR? How long is this road???? Why did I leave my hat behind? Vitamin D can be found in a glass of milk!!!! Finally I see my car looming in the distance. Sweet salvation!!!! I slowly crawl to my car to once again set off the alarm. I collapse into the car fairly certain I will never walk again. Okay. Engage clutch. Put car in reverse. ACK! First gear! ENGAGE CLUTCH. Put car in REVERSE. Why is the car going forward??? Engage, Reverse - FORWARD. Engage, Reverse - FORWARD! I am almost to the tree up the hill. My face couldn't get any redder with the heat exhaustion and deep seeded embarrassment. Finally I get the car in reverse and make it home. As soon as I fell out of the car, Mr. Yesteryear Acres said, "Wow, your face is really red!" Really? I had no idea. I think tomorrow I will stick to the wooded trail. Evidently I am not young enough for mountain climbing!

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