Monday, April 19, 2010

No old are you in DOG YEARS?

Today is my nephew Sean’s 6th birthday. I almost feel like I should count his birthday in dog years – so being 6 years old today means he is actually 42 years old. 42 is much more fitting for him as he has an uncanny sense of logic, a terrific sense of humor and possesses incredible powers of persuasion. At the ripe old age of 6 my nephew is already putting things away and saving mementos for his grandchildren. He has already decided that he will NOT be present for the birth of his children because that is just WAY too messy for him. Sean is able to explain exactly how special effects in the movies are achieved and I believe he might know each and every single fact about Star Wars. Sean is really very funny and a blast to be around. By the time he was 3 years old he could already sing the entire lyrics to Corrine Bailey Rae’s “Put your Records On” and often went around the house singing “You go ahead, let your HAIR DOOOOWN.” He is great at letting me know which artist is currently singing on the radio: “Oh that is Jack Johnson, he also sings “On the News Tonight” or “I just LOVE that Bob Dylan.” Sean has a particular affinity for the Beatles and can sing all their greatest hits. When he was really little, one of my sister’s friends came to visit them for the day as she hadn't been over for a while. As soon as she saw my nephew she said, “OH MY, you are getting SO big! I can’t believe how much you have grown. I bet you can almost talk in complete sentences now!” My nephew then turned to his dad and said “What does that woman mean by ALMOST talking in complete sentences?” She then gave Sean his belated Christmas present, a small toy flute to which he replied “Thank you, I used to play one of these when I was a little boy.” Yes, he is a regular comedian.
In honor of Sean’s birthday I will share my favorite Sean story with you. I am sure when Sean reads this (which given his precocious nature should be tomorrow after finishing reading the Wall Street Journal) he will be overjoyed that I chose to share this particular story with you. My nephew was quite the little procrastinator when it came to potty training. He wanted everyone to know that he was a very busy person and couldn't possibly be interrupted by needless trips to the bathroom. He found that he could save precious steps by just going in his diaper. I mean why walk all the way to the potty, when it is obviously unnecessary. He knew that his mom would come and clean him up and he could still continue to create his Lego Empire with absolutely no interruptions. Each time my sister would bring up the subject of the potty, my nephew had a quick and clever response as to why using the toilet was a horrid idea. His retorts included the classic kid excuse that there were monsters in the bathroom. He also was found of the environmentally conscious excuse that by not flushing the toilet he was conserving water. He actually stated that he preferred the comfort of a padded diaper when sitting on the floor. His best excuse had to be the irrefutable... “Mom, I have short legs combined with poor aim!” You have got to hand it to the kid. He came up with some good ones. Once when my sister in complete desperation finally asked him “Sean, WHEN will you use the potty?!” My nephew looked right into her eyes and said, “Mommy, when pigs fall out of the sky like rain, on THAT day, I will use the potty.” Thankfully, Sean never held out for the thunderstorm of falling pigs in order to be potty trained. He decided at a young age that it was more sanitary to use the bathroom and in that moment the diapers were gone. Now if my sister could only come up with a convincing counterpoint as to why Sean should eat his green vegetables…..
Happy Birthday Sean! I hope you enjoyed your day, and yes, for the record, your loving Aunt Renee still thinks it is funny that you have convinced your mommy that ketchup is a vegetable. :)

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