Monday, April 26, 2010

The Straight Poop

The puppies ALL ate their puppy food today. Breakfast AND dinner. They licked up every bite. Everyone is eating heartily and they all have nice healthy appetites. The puppies are continuing to find my delightful puppy cuisine to be irresistible and are now starting to eagerly await each meal. Once the puppies start eating my fine puppy food, the very next thing that happens is.....yes, you guessed it....POOP! Lots and lots of puppy POOP. When the puppies are still in the nursing stage, the mommy dog actually takes care of the puppy "waste". I know, I know, that sounds pretty gross but it is part of Mother Nature's grand design. The puppy poop that occurs during the nursing stage is not smelly and most mommy dogs are so quick, you hardly notice any pooping at all. It is gone before you know it. The mommies do this to ensure the puppy nest stays nice and clean and that the puppies are healthy. The mommies lick all the puppy butts clean and keep everything neat and tidy. Well once the puppies start eating solid food it is a whole new ballgame. First - that barely smelly puppy poop is a thing of the past! Once the puppy gruel hits their puppy tummies - what comes out is QUITE smelly! And the mommy dogs do not hesitate to let us know that "HEY WE DID OUR PART!!! GET ON IT!" and so we humans are left to clean the puppy poop up, again, and again, and again. The first week with solid food is generally the worst. There is no timed schedule to the pooping. There is little self awareness of the pooping, or where they are pooping or even who they might decide to poop on. It is an all out poop fest! So today - my schedule went something like this:
Sit down in my big comfy recliner chair. Pull out leg rest. Pick up computer and put on lap. Open email and hit reply. Type two words. *sniff sniff* ugh. Put leg rest down. Put computer on desk. Walk out to puppy nursery. Clean up a large load of poop. Wash hands. Walk back to my computer. Sit in my big comfy recliner chair. Pull out leg rest. Pick up computer and put on lap. Type two more words....*sniff* WHAT THE HECK! I JUST SAT DOWN! Put leg rest down. Walk out to puppy nursery and stand in astonishment at how much poop puppies can create. Clean up poop. Wash hands. Walk back to computer. Sit dow.....ACK! MORE POOP! More WASHING! Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat ALL DAY LONG. At one point I am pretty sure the puppies were laughing. I distinctly saw one puppy whisper in another puppy's ear and I am fairly confident that he said "Man - I really have to go but I am HOLDING it until she sits down again! I just love how she comes running back in here!" I know I must have sat down, pulled my chair leg rest out and then put it back and then stood back up over 100 times. I am not complaining mind you. I mean I would rather do all that work now and have new puppy families delighted with how fast their puppies are to housebreak than to be lazy and have the puppies learn bad habits. BUT I still think there was a little bit of a wager going on between the puppies today. I think a few were placing bets on how quickly they could get me to come back in the nursery once I pulled out my foot rest. I also believe the puppies are secretly reading my blog and gosh darn it - they are manipulating me into doing my exercise! Those clever little pups! I guess I should thank them. I mean I DO want to fit into my shorts so here it goes:
"Dearest darling Puppies, thank you ever so much for assisting me in my exercise plan. You are all very thoughtful and kind. I think I have a firm grasp on what I need to do in order to get in shape for this summer. I really do like walking in the woods and going to the park, so if you could be so kind...I would so appreciate it if tomorrow you could all poop at once."
Your human mommy

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