Thursday, August 26, 2010

Time for Homework

You would think by the time I reached the ripe old age of 45 I would be done with homework right? WRONG! I forgot how peaceful the summer was without homework assignments and parent signatures and of course the lovely sound of "I DON'T GET THIS PROBLEM!!!!" that is so sweetly and softly spoken...kind of like the sweet sound a chainsaw makes cutting through an enormous log while you are perhaps simultaneously listening to the sound of a sick screeching parrot screaming in your ear. Ahhh yes. School has begun.  We are at day 4 and already the complaints and the woe is me and the we must torture mommy endlessly has already begun.  My son is taking French 1 and is already massacring the language.  His pronunciation leave quite a bit to be desired and he takes great joy in asking me how I am about every 90 seconds.  I believe today alone I heard "Ce Va?" 1,980 times. I have also been asked, "What is your name" at least 500 times. I am being stalked everywhere I go with my son singing the French alphabet and missing the letter H every time. Ahhh the joy.  Today alone I have helped with French, Algebra, AP English and Physics. I think my brain hurts. Evidently my brain has been quite dusty over the summer and has stored the part that loves sine and cosine and tangents WAY in the back recesses. Okay that was just a bold lie. There is no part of my brain that loves sine, cosine and tangents.  I mean I had to walk 32 meters to the north, turn 30* and walk another 45 meters and blah blah blah blah.  Who turns exactly 30* anyway?  Of course I can't tell my kids that.  I have to act SO interested. OH wow!  What is the inner degree of THAT triangle?  How much land DID that man cover whilst walking? Isn't that so INTERESTING?!!  I am fairly certain my kids aren't buying it. My son had to come up with multiple ways to get every single integer from 1 - 20 using only the numbers 1, 2, 4 and 5. He didn't seem to share my enthusiasm for how delightful that particular math exercise was.  He didn't seem to share my enthusiasm for how fun ALL his homework is.  And so the torture begins.  I pretend to LOVE LOVE LOVE helping them with their homework and they don't even try to pretend they LOVE LOVE LOVE doing it.  My son is the best at not pretending he loves it.  He is the best at loathing and stalling and moaning.  He will probably deny this with all his being BUT....once he started finding the ways to make all the integers from 1-20 he started smiling.  And then he started liking it.  And then he found more ways to solve each integer than the homework specified because he was so good at it.  So despite ALL those protests...inside of each of my kids you will find a dedication to do all those dreaded homework assignments passionately. And that makes Time for Homework honestly not too torturous.....even if I do have to say "Je suis fatigue" 2,987 times a day.

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