Thursday, October 21, 2010

Stowaway Fly

I want to apologize in advance to any entomologists that might read today's blog post.  Any insect loving, pest loving, buzz loving person that adores flying creatures, I am sorry as this post will certainly offend you. I also apologize for not loving all of God's creatures equally. The fact is.......I hate bugs. Really. I hate them.  I don't like insects of any kind. I particularly despise insects that bite and sting - but really even if they just fly around me - I am bothered.  I know I should go to some "zen-like" state where I love the bugs and I want to save the bugs - but I am not that person. I am the person armed with a flyswatter.  I am the person that can HEAR a fly buzzing and must immediately arm myself with the flyswatter so I can rid my house of the menacing pest. I actually am bothered by the sound of a fly bouncing around a window pane.  I can't let it go. Sadly - this time of the year is when the flies who happily lived outside - want to come and live INSIDE my house. EGADS!  Don't they see all the infinite bountiful beauty outside?  Can't they appreciate the endless room to fly around and be free? Why must the come in my door the second I open it?  This is not a warm and friendly place to live. This is a hostile environment for bugs of any kind. I mean the fly is entering my home and my only thought is SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT! I am lying in wait, flyswatter at the ready! To make matters worse, today when I got in my car  and started driving down the road, I had company. A fly apparently thought that it would be nice to accompany me to my destination.  It didn't even ask permission.  There it was.  I could hear it buzzing around my head. So there I am driving down the street waving my arm in the air like a mad woman trying to shoo the fly.  And that fly KNEW I had NO swatter.  The second I shooed it away - it came BACK. It was torturing me on purpose! BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ!!!  How rude of it to just assume I would be glad to give it a lift.  I mean it HAS wings!  It could FLY to wherever it wanted to go ALL by itself!  Why does it have to go into my car and wait for a ride???  Does it have friends across town and is just too lazy to fly there?  I decided I would disrupt the ecosystem and natural balance of the world by opening my window and shooing the fly out into parts unknown.  Ha ha!  Take that fly!  You have NO idea where you are!  You are flying down the middle of a busy road with NO GPS! No roundtrip joy ride for you! HA! I rode back to my home enjoying the silence and knowing that there was just one less fly waiting for me at my door. Maybe I will be lucky and Mr. Stowaway Fly will have friends send out a search party.  Then they can all be gone for good!

1 comment:

  1. Mrs. Yesteryear, you sure do write interesting and entertaining articles. I think you can add yet another hobby/talent of writing to your already busy life. My feelings abt. insects are same as yours. Sandi


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