Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Suicidal Milk

If you are a reader of this blog, then you know that we tend to consume quite a lot of milk each week.  Our normal consumption is 10 gallons of milk every week and that is just white milk.  If I am feeling like an extra nice and sweet mommy, I will also buy chocolate milk and my family can easily go through an additional 3+ gallons of chocolate milk per week on top of the 10 gallons of white milk. So when I tell you that I had to go to the store today to get more milk, it would probably not be a surprise to anyone.  What is a surprise however, is that evidently I picked a gallon of milk that had a suicide mission. Had I known what atrocities would await me as I pulled in the driveway this afternoon, I might have chosen a different gallon.  I mean really - there had to have been at least 100 gallons of milk in the store.  I could have easily chosen a different gallon of milk to bring home but no, I chose the one with a mission.  I pulled in the driveway, just as I do each and every time I return home.  I put the car in park.  I turned off the ignition.  I pressed the automatic open button for the back hatch.....this is when I heard Mr. Yesteryear Acres yell, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  As soon as the back hatch was opened, the milk with a mission HURLED itself right out of the car, did a complete flip, crushed the top completely and then landed in the upright position. And there we watched as the milk flooded out of the split plastic gallon container right onto the gravel driveway. The milk was gone.  Gone.  There was no saving the milk. All I have left to remember our time together is the empty plastic container that is practically split in two.  Mr. Yesteryear Acres said the entire feat was quite impressive and gave it a 5.8 for form on a 6 point scale. So I guess this week my family will consume a mere 9 gallons of milk. I am sure by Sunday, I will hear how parched they are.  I am sure they will all lament the passing of gallon #10.  I never saw it coming.  Poor little milk jug....you would have been delicious with a stack of oreos!

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