Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Laundry Confessional

Dear Mr. Yesteryear Acres,
This blog post is very boring.  You definitely will not want to read it.  I am going to go on and on about the tedious task of doing the laundry and I wouldn't want you to read my blog and then feel guilty for creating such mountains of laundry for me to wash. I know you would feel great remorse and I wouldn't want to burden you with such overwhelming sadness. I will continue to wash your mountains of clothing and the mountains of towels and washcloths and doggie laundry and kids' laundry.  I shall suffer in silence.  Please don't worry one bit about me.  I am fine.
So here is the real story -
Here at Yesteryear Acres - we have lots of laundry.  We have doggie towels, doggie blankets, work clothes, nice clothes, more work clothes and more towels. There is at least 1-2 loads of wash to do each and every day of the year.  Now if I were a good housekeeper - I would actually do the 1-2 loads of wash each and every day of the year. If I were a great housekeeper I would actually do the 1-2 loads of wash each and every day of the year AND I would FOLD the laundry the second the dryer alarm buzzed. Alas, I am neither a great housekeeper nor a good housekeeper. I never seem to get that folding part of the laundry chore done correctly.  It isn't that I lack knowledge on how to properly do the laundry, it is that I lack motivation.  Besides having wrinkle free clothes - what in the world would possess me to RUN to the laundry room as soon as the buzzer goes off and then immediately start folding and pressing my clothes? Well it appears the answer to that question is - Nothing. And therein lies the problem.  I wash the clothes then I carry them out to the living room and then create multiple mountains of clean laundry that alllll need to be sorted and folded. Just about the time when there is absolutely no place to sit down in the living room as the couches are buried beneath the mountains of clean towels, it occurs to me that I should fold all the clothes.  I like to make a big deal out of the horrible task that lies before me.  I like to sigh and complain and I always am sure to show Mr. Yesteryear Acres the HUGE piles of laundry that only I can fold. I act like I deserve a medal of honor for completing such a monumental task.  Now for my laundry confession.....I actually like saving the laundry up until I have TONS to fold. As I whine and mope and put the back of my hand up to my head and say "Woe is me"......inwardly I am smiling.  Why you ask? Well because I get to sit and fold laundry for an entire Grey's Anatomy episode or an entire episode of House or some other sinfully delightful TV show. I am given carte blanche to sit on my butt in the middle of the day and WATCH TV.  I make it look like I am working REALLY hard. I don't know why no one has ever figured out that the laundry always takes exactly the length of one TV show to fold. Sometimes I have to knock over a few washcloths and refold so I don't miss the end of my show. I mean you have to look REALLY busy while McDreamy is operating.  Today I had so much laundry that my folding time bled into the next episode of Grey's Anatomy.  I tried my very best to make it last to the end of the second episode but I was done within 10 minutes.  Now I have 3/4ths of the show left to watch and I need a really good excuse to get that accomplished.  Hey I know!  I have to wash the clothes from my trip to Atlanta!  I am sure the 3 outfits will take at least 35 minutes or so to fold. I must get busy right away.  My work here is just never done.

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