Thursday, October 28, 2010

Will the Real Stress Test Please Stand Up

As per my usual routine of stalking our dear mail carrier, I was out to get my mail right on time.  Today's mail brought a gigantic stack of catalogues, sale ads, political advertisements and an envelope from my cardiologist's office. I put all the junk mail aside and opened the letter:
Dear Cardiologist Patient,
Enclosed please find the bill for services rendered.

Nuclear Stress Test

Amount due:

Payment Date: November 5, 2010

ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK!  Are you serious???!!!!!  How in the world could that test cost SO much? My son said that the letter was the ACTUAL Stress Test. If you open an envelope with a bill that high, and you don't die, you are fine. I think he might just be right. How is that bill supposed to make me feel better? How am I supposed to get into a zen-like state of serenity and peace when I have a bill for ONE test equivalent to the price of buying a used car? Or a luxury vacation... For two... At a beach... ..In winter... With first class plane tickets... And drinks....And food... And a personal pool boy! ACK! I think I stared at the bill for 10 solid minutes with my mouth wide open gasping for air.  Surely there is a more efficient way to treat a heart attack victim besides GIVING THEM ANOTHER HEART ATTACK!  Coincidentally this afternoon was my scheduled appointment to see my cardiologist so that he could tell me the results of my $5000+ test and bill me for another visit. I checked with the billing department when I arrived at the doctor's office and yes the nuclear test did cost that much. And yes, I did need to pay it. And yes it is so funny that I could go on a really nice vacation for that amount. I bring such joy.  So now onto the good news portion of my day...... I saw my cardiologist and he was NOT late!  Within 20 minutes of my scheduled appointment, he was in my room ready to discuss my results. Right there - that was a miracle.  And he brought good news - I AM OKAY! I am better than OKAY.  My heart shows no permanent damage and both the intake and outtake functions are doing great. He says I should be a test case for heart attack recovery, he was so impressed with my results. Yea for me!  He also took me off ALL my medication!  So no more pills!  I don't have to bring along my pill case of the day with all my little tiny cut up pills every where I go.  My daughter doesn't have to ask me, "Did you take your medicine?" ever again. I never have to remember if this is a pink pill day or a white pill day. The next time I visit a Doctor and they ask, "what medications are you on?" I can say NONE!  I guess with such good news the only thing to do is keep on doing what I have been doing.  Loving life, being eternally grateful, smiling at the morning sun, adoring my devoted family, wishing on falling stars, enjoying my cute fluffy puppies, and as always, feeling fulfilled by the love that surrounds me each and every day.

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