Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I Glow in the Dark

Well I did it.  I got my Stress Test crossed off my list. I will of course deny the following statement....."It wasn't really that bad" and instead I will insist that I was tortured all day. First I had to wake up when it was DARK outside.  REALLY DARK.  I cleaned up after all the puppies and Mr. Yesteryear Acres took over the morning breakfast duties. I put on what I considered the perfect exercise outfit - nice and comfy - and brought my bag of goodies.  I then had to leave my beautiful house WITHOUT COFFEE!  Yes, you read that correctly.  I wasn't allowed to eat or drink after midnight last night and that included having absolutely NO coffee this morning. None. Zilch. Nada.  And what is worse than that, is the cardiologist office is over AN HOUR away and I had to drive in rush hour traffic with NO coffee.  I had to watch all the happy little commuters with their happy little commuter coffee cups drive by all smiley and warm inside because they had their morning cup O'Joe.  Not me.  Once I finally arrived - I realized that my perfect outfit was completely worthless as I had to undress and put on a hospital gown.  UGH.  Now why did I go to all that trouble to find a nice soft shirt and nice soft pants only to have them discarded into a plastic bag in exchange for a gown with bad velcro? And if that weren't bad enough - I had so many sticky electrodes placed EVERYWHERE I felt a bit like Frankenstein.  Then came the part I dreaded the most - the IV. (This is where I will say in a very quiet voice - that Steve (my nurse) did a very excellent job of putting in the IV and in actuality my flu shot hurt much more than the IV did.) In my loud and whiny voice, I will still say, "I had a NEEDLE stuck in my vein!!!!"  The rest of the day was just long.  Injection of radioactive isotopes. Long period of waiting. Picture time.  Long period of waiting. Exercise time. Another Injection of Radioactive Isotopes. More waiting. More pictures.  You get the idea.  I made it a whopping 12 minutes on the INCLINED treadmill clipping along at a fairly good pace.  The Dr. said I won for the day as I stayed on longer than anyone else the entire day. As I collapsed, I felt wonderfully in shape!  I felt terrific! I felt like I was just a power walker SUPERSTAR!  I then took a second look around the waiting room and realized that half of the people taking the stress test were not ambulatory and the other half were just slightly (very much) older than I was - but HEY a WIN is a WIN!  I got a special electrode sticker of my very own to commemorate my win.  I also got a card to take with me to the airport on Thursday.  Evidently I am going to light up that x-ray machine like fireworks.  My card lets the airport security know that I am indeed radioactive and should be allowed on the plane despite my glow in the dark status. I will continue to glow in the dark for the next 48 hours. Isn't medicine wonderful?  I find out my results on the 28th.  I think that is highly efficient of them.  I mean it would be silly if someone told me TODAY how my test went.  I would much rather wait for at least 2 weeks wondering how I did and then get up early and then drive an hour and then wait in the waiting room forever and then get undressed and then put on a hospital gown and then wait for the doctor to come in the exam room before I ever find out how I did TODAY. I mean that is a MUCH better use of my time! Until then I shall light up the night with my glow in the dark smile.

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