Sunday, October 9, 2011

What's the Buzz?

I know. I know. You have been thinking - it is been WAY too long since I gave you a yellow jacket update! I am sure you missed hearing all the gory details of our yellow jacket invasion and have been eagerly tuning in to see just what might happen next.  While I didn't bore you with the day to day details of our continuing yellow jacket battle - the war wages on! The beginning of the war was a testament to incredible acute hearing skills combined with a wicked backhand.  I could hear the buzzing of the yellow jacket the SECOND it entered the room. I armed myself with a badminton racket and flyswatter ready for battle.  Mr. Yesteryear Acres has been joking, "Why get a Wii when you can have Bee!"  He is sooo funny.  I have had a lot of friends and family ask me why I haven't abandoned ship. Why haven't I left and stayed somewhere else during this horror filled invasion. Well the answer is simple - I have puppies! I have puppies and a family and my life is here. I cannot simply leave and let the puppies fend for themselves. I can't let Mr. Yesteryear Acres battle the yellow jackets alone.  We are in it together. Even though he would gladly battle the yellow jackets all by himself - 2 awesome backhands are better than one!  So far we have been incredibly lucky as we have kept the yellow jackets isolated to one bedroom upstairs and the parlor downstairs.  I have kept every single yellow jacket from escaping into other areas of the house. Last Sunday Mr. Yesteryear Acres sprayed some very powerful exterminating powder into the cracks and crevices of the wall. We were fairly certain THAT would be THAT. Wellllllllll here's the thing. If you ever get a hive of yellow jackets that have infiltrated the cracks in the mortar of your brick wall, here is a NOT have this brilliant idea: "Hey let's just fill in the holes with expandable foam!" At the time, that seemed like quite the solution.  We were proud of ourselves for thinking of it!  We saw hundreds of yellow jackets swarming the outside of our house and crawling into a small crevice where the mortar was missing.  So we sealed that up tight.  Really tight.  So tight in fact that the yellow jackets had NO where to go......except.......INTO OUR HOUSE.  Yes. Evidently they do not give up easily. Evidently they all had a meeting and it went something like this:
HA HA - those human fools!  They closed up our hole! INVADE INVADE INVADE!!!!
And they did.  In massive numbers. In frighteningly nightmare producing massive numbers.  Luckily we are finally winning the war but even though the numbers are decreasing - this week's battle is even scarier!  Last week it was all buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, smack, smack, smack and then the yellow jackets fell to their deaths. I felt like I had bionic hearing! I felt like I had the best backhand in the world.  We were winning! Now this week it is a WHOLE new game plan.  There is no buzzing.  There is no backhand motion.  Here is the scenario....the yellow jackets have gone through the poison powder so they have all lost their buzzing.  They have lost their will to fly.  Instead they CREEP in a silent stealth manner and crawl across the floor, up the bedding, onto the bed, up the window, onto the chair etc.  You don't hear them coming. You don't really even see them coming because they are moving so slowly. The just silently creep and try to crawl up your leg or onto your pants or into your slippers!  So now my bionic hearing is useless. Now we have to look everywhere.  Don't back up into the bed! Don't sit there!  Look out! Tricky little stealth mode yellow jackets are waiting. I am fairly certain the ENTIRE hive found its way into our home.
Here is yesterday's battle at the window....
Scary right?!!!
Well THIS is even SCARIER.....
They are creeping across the carpet LOOKING to get us!!!!
You have to look everywhere you step!
UGH!  Every day Mr. Yesteryear Acres says, "THIS is the LAST day we shall battle the yellow jackets!"  And every day I believe him. Until I have to squish one.  And then all I can do is sigh and think ...dear couch, once again, I shall find you tonight and sleep on your very uncomfortable couchness. One day.  ONE day.....I will sleep in my bed once more! Just....not tonight!

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