I just wanted a gold star!

The other day I called my Doctor's office to ask a vaccine question and I was told that I was no longer considered a patient because it had been so long since they have seen me.  What?! What?!  I literally have an encyclopedia size folder of medical files at that office.  I think they could write an entire book based on my file!  I cannot just simply disappear!  I was told that if I were to come in for a doctor visit, they would reinstate my patient status. I told them - I am not sick! I am fine!  Am I supposed to come in and say, "Hi, I am feeling perfectly well and there is nothing to report and I have no complaints and have a nice day?"  Evidently the answer is yes.  And so I went for my "I am not sick" appointment.  Once I was there, I pretty much answered every question with no.  "Am I on medication?" No.  "Do you have any medical concerns?" No.  "Are you feeling unwell?" No.  I haven't been sick in almost 3 years.  I haven't had a single medical concern in those 3 years. I am not on any medication. I workout regularly. I do not smoke. I do not drink. I am super healthy.  Can I have my gold star now? WELL......That is when I did NOT get my gold star!!!!! I got the WOW! You are turning 50 so........you need a
mammogram
pap smear
colonoscopy
stress test
echocardiogram
shingles vaccine
mmr titer
and
tetanus shot.
I was actually given a take home personal use fecal test thing. WHAT?  Where is my gold star? Now I have to wait for all those appointments to be made and I left with one sore arm from my tetanus shot.  Gee.  All I wanted was a Gold Star. Next thing you know - someone is going to tell me that I am Vintage!!!!! Wahhhhhhh!